sharing meals « despite cancer

During the cancer diagnosis and treatment, the focus is very much on the patient, the one going through the work-up, the biopsies, the chemotherapy or radiation, the surgery, the side effects. But often, there is someone else who may be just as affected by the diagnosis and treatment — the caregiver.

It’s rare that I see a new patient, someone with a new diagnosis of cancer, who comes alone to the first visit with me. There is usually a very concerned wife or husband – or a best friend, a child, a sister or a brother, a church member – sitting right beside his or her loved one, holding their hand or patting their knee, ready with a notebook and pen to write down the important details of the cancer that I’m about to share. And, without fail, that same caregiver is at almost all the visits to come, all the appointments for chemotherapy and beyond.

And, while it’s never intentional, it is easy for the caregiver to be forgotten along the way. The attention is necessarily – and rightly so – focused on the person who is dealing with cancer, but the caregiver is generally carrying quite a heavy load. The caregivers I’ve encountered are often silent, going through the experience without complaining. It seems intuitive, but medical literature tells us that caregivers are more likely to become ill themselves, have higher rates of depression and insomnia, have more emotional stress and financial burden.

It’s not uncommon — in fact, I’d say it’s VERY common — for caregivers to neglect themselves while caring for their loved one. They may stop exercising. They may not get enough sleep. And often, they don’t focus on eating healthy — or eating at all. It’s just not a priority. Just ask my mother – she’s been known to eat potato chips for dinner while caregiving for my father and my grandmother recently.

If you’d like to help out a friend with cancer, I’d encourage you to think about doing something special for his or her caregiver as well. A simple gift of a homemade meal will not only provide a nourishing alternative to fast food or a peanut butter sandwich, but it will also lift up their spirits and nourish the soul.

I’ve listed a few recipe ideas below for meals that should be easy to make ahead and are freezer-friendly. Just remember to package up the meal in disposable pans to minimize any clean-up. Your task is to make the caregiver’s life easier, not make her spend an hour washing dishes afterward. Now, go forth and cook!

Pork tamale pie, pictured above, from yours truly.
Baked ziti, from Elise of Simply Recipes.
Chicken almond rice casserole, from Alice of Savory Sweet Life.
Macaroni and cheese, from Deb of Smitten Kitchen.

Cancer does so many awful things, but one of the worst is its ability to take away the sense of control we feel in our lives. It makes us feel helpless and powerless. We have no control over what’s happening to our bodies and we’re forced to undergo therapies that have potential to change our lives forever – hopefully for purposes of good, but also potentially in negative ways.

As an oncologist, one of the first questions, and definitely one of the most common ones I’m asked, is what to eat during cancer therapy….or what to eat after cancer therapy, or what to eat to prevent cancer from returning. It’s a hard question to answer because there is not one single right answer. I’d like to try to tackle some of those questions here.

I fully believe that food is to be enjoyed. While it is nourishing to our bodies, it can also be nourishing – and healing – to our souls. Of course, the nutritional value of food itself is important, but also of unrecognized importance is the process of cooking a meal and the experience of sharing a meal with those we love. The power of food and the act of eating is often magnified when a person undergoes cancer treatment, a time when various factors come into play that affect all aspects of eating – from having poor appetite… to not enough energy to cook… to alterations in the sense of taste and smell… to the loss – or gain – of social support at mealtimes.

I’d love to touch on all of this, and more, based on my own love of food, cooking, and sharing meals, and on my experience as an oncologist, treating patients who undergo such cancer treatments and live to tell the tale.

So, join me on this journey. I may not have all the answers – because there may not be answers – but at least we can talk about it. We can have a conversation.

We can help people enjoy food despite cancer… and in spite of cancer.

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